Pictureby Vincent Brown http://www.flickr.com/photos/vintuitive/
Are boundaries enough to prevent empathic fatigue?

The beauty of humanity is caring so much that there is no question of acting in service of life.     

But, sometimes the boundaries we set to self-care or decrease fatigue from caring are walls that prevent us from both receiving and giving care. 

Like empathy, compassion isn't about fixing.  Compassion is a loving presence that humanizes us. 

In my experience, sometimes our own trauma causes us to resonate so much with another's distress that we cannot be there for them even when our nature is to care.  

Too much resonance with another or our own distress is empathy's downfall.  Too much resonance traps us.  Too much empathic resonance prevents the free flow of love. 

What is interesting to discover and learn for ourselves is how empathy and compassion feel and what these experiences do for us.  

Compassion and empathy are felt experiences.  The beauty of being held in the the loving presence of one who is offering compassion without words is powerful.  

As an empath without strong inner boundaries, I used to experience fatigue.  Empathic fatigue causes burnout and while developing better boundaries is helpful, it is not necessarily enough to prevent fatigue or burnout.  

What I've learned through experience is that Love is restorative and fuels us like no other super pill.  It is why there are stories of persons who heroically did what we as humans think nearly impossible.  Our caring or altruistic nature make us divine. 

Love is a tireless energy.  

That energy of Love is powerful and fuels our desire to care in compassionate and empathic ways without burning out.  

It is the difference between holding my loved one in distress or feeling powerless to change what is distressing them.  While I may not be able to change circumstances I can still be a loving presence that supports without crumbling within. 

Love is our authentic power and it is unlike any other power we seek to have over others. 

In my experience it is power-lessness over something be it a person or situation that can fuel distress.  

Pictureby dee_dee_creamer http://www.flickr.com/photos/79510655@N08/
Distress is resistance to what is, has been or might be.

Distress causes us to miss out on life. The good news is that it is right in front of us to dance with. 

So, the moment I can bring my attention to the emotion (the body sensation caused by my thoughts), I begin to engage what is alive in me.  The distress begins to lessen as it is in the presence of my own compassion. But, the moment I resonate too much with the emotion, I am swept by empathy's downfall and lose strength/power. 

So, while empathy is healing it can also be a source of pain or distress.  

A wonderfully humbling reminder that there are moments in all our lives when we cannot will things to change nor have the power, authority or ability to control what is.  Some things are just not within our territory of influence. 

What comes to mind is Byron Katie's The Work.  As she says there are three kinds of business: mine, yours and God's.  She says that if we are mentally hurting we are out of our business.  

As Byron Katie puts it: 

Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God’s business.

Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor’s business.

Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because he has an ugly lawn? Your business.


There is definite strength in what Byron Katie refers to as "loving what is."   That is a liberating way to live and be in the world.  Although, sometimes it seems challenging, it is much tougher resisting what is through our thoughts and feelings. 

I know this to be true as my happiest moments are when I am disengaged from internal power -struggles with what is.   

There can be no power-struggle whether internal or external when I understand my needs.  Being in touch with my feelings and needs is self-empathy.  Getting to the unmet needs is what is healing. 


Love helps us understand moment by moment our needs so we can also be present to understand others needs.    


So,  when we feel fatigue or caught in distress, we can remember that we have either gone into territory that is not ours, or over-resonated with our own or another's distress.  


While setting boundaries is loving, expressing them without compassion only causes disconnection with ourselves and others.  We all have a choice whether to meet our own or others needs.  


What restores our strength is Love.  Love fuels our body to take baby steps and even leaps of faith.  

Outward changes come about from steady inner progress.  

We are all on a unique journey although needs are common to all humanity.


Are you clear in this moment about what you need and how to receive it?


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by Amy http://www.flickr.com/photos/jirsy/
 
 
Pictureby Teddy Lambec http://www.flickr.com/photos/teddylambec/
Technology is constantly upgrading, but is it upgrading the quality of my environment and life? 

The environment is critical in shaping perceptions of the world or reality. 

Why aren't there equal standards of living? 


Experience is a true teacher of life and values. 

I grew up not really knowing first hand what poverty was.  My father worked long hours to provide for us.  He slept on average 4 hours a night with no days off.  I've heard that when they first arrived to the U.S. they went through many hardships and deprivation.  It is never the same to imagine than to experience. 

Some will judge me for what I am about to express and that is okay.  It is not my business to know what others think of me.

I feel frustration with the reality of the way this world operates and my resistance to join it.  I have to work to earn money to continue to survive. If I don't I may be labeled as 'lazy,' or a burden to society.  No one wants to be a burden or be burdened.  But, there is no equity in the world we live in.  

There is inequity in economic society's based on hierarchy and money systems which mean that to have a higher standard of living, others must be below us.  

Standards of living have built into them values we strive for, but, that are part of an exploitative system.  


Pictureby David Stone http://www.flickr.com/photos/builtbydave/
Humans turned against each other and our own environment.   

It is very sad that as humans we are willing to sacrifice lives for concepts we created.   

Hierarchy like money are man-made concepts.  These concepts and tools sadly do more harm than benefit to everything on planet earth. 

We need each other through compassionate relating and cooperation not through coercive and shaming tactics.  


Prior to 2016, I had not heard of Jacque Fresco or The Venus Project. There are many movements out there working on causes for humanity.  

According to Jacque Fresco of The Venus Project, science and technology can serve humanity by intelligently managing our planet's resources.  It is not opinion based, but, rather based on common language such as math.  This type of socio-economic structure makes money obsolete thereby eliminating greed and many of the problems that come from pursuing it.  It upgrades human behavior to reflect values that are not life-alienating but life-enhancing. 


PictureBy Ryan Rivera http://www.flickr.com/photos/calmclinic/
I hold great hope in my heart that in my lifetime over the course of the next 50 years there will be a compassionate transition to a resource based economy and way of living. 

In my heart I believe that there can be abundance for everyone if we can refrain from sustaining exploitation of resources and one another.  Systems built to exploit cannot simultaneously be compassionate.   

It is our choice to allow technology and science to shine the light of our humanness above anything else.  

Just see the film 'Passengers' and see how meaningless life would be without another human being to share our existence and care about.  


Can a higher standard of living be possible for all or will it phase out?

Below is a short video on The Venus Project. 


"The hope of a secure and liveable world lies with disciplined non-comformists who are dedicated to justice, peace, and brotherhood."  - Martin Luther King Jr. 
 
 
Pictureby Mark Teasdale http://www.flickr.com/photos/bcbusinesshub/
Can happiness be alive in me...

regardless of what I want? 

or when my needs are not being met?

It seems unlikely that I can be happy when what I have is not what I want or NOT sufficient. 

Wants may be compromisable but needs are not.  

Well-being as a human being is dependent on my needs being met. It is hard to be happy when various needs are unmet.  As unmet needs lead to negative feelings/emotions.  Too many unmet needs is to disconnect from life within. 

Disconnection from my own needs is denying life and therefore a slow death.  


So many unmet needs, made me an angry child.  To cope with a very unstable and confusing upbringing I turned my anger in.  Others needs came before my own and it became easy to misidentify my needs.  That habit became depression.  


So, when 'depressed' it is a sure way of knowing needs have been neglected. 



Pictureby Ed Shipul http://www.flickr.com/photos/eschipul/
So, I ask myself am I denying my happiness by neglecting my needs? 

I believe Happiness comes from being in the moment, aware of what is and embracing it. 
Not so easy when there are attachments to how things could be....

Wanting other than what is, is to choose unhappiness. 

Depression never feels like a choice, but, it is a progressive neglect of needs.  Internally life is repressed when needs are not met.  

As an adult I have noticed that I end up depressed when I fail to recognize my needs.  Or I fall back on the old habit of depression, when my choices seem unpleasant or too limited.  It appears easier to depress than to take charge or accept things just as they are.  To take charge requires strength and courage and to accept things requires surrender.  

Pictureby Gisela Giardino http://www.flickr.com/photos/gi/
Needs are universal to all Life forms and seek expression.  To me Life seems to ask only that I take charge of what is within my control and to surrender what is not.  

Perhaps, it is why the serenity prayer asks for wisdom to know the difference between what one can and cannot change.   

Needs are wants that are not compromisable.  To compromise needs is to compromise the life force within. 

To compromise my needs is to sacrifice my happiness and ultimately my life.  I am free to choose Life or to deny it.

At any moment what is alive in me are needs.  Being attuned to my needs is vital to my well-being. 

I choose well-being and happiness by allowing my needs or Life to express themselves.  


What is alive in you at this moment and how are you choosing to express it?


This post is an expression of great hope for humanity that we come together to understand our needs. 


Are we as world community meeting our needs?  

Are we taking care of the planet that holds and nurtures us?  

Are we choosing Life or outdated coping habits that lead us to be an unhappy... world community?


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by Ron Mader http://www.flickr.com/photos/planeta/
 
 
Pictureby Ryan Rivera http://www.flickr.com/photos/calmclinic/
Is there a happiness lifestyle?

What comprises happiness for you? 

For me as a human being 'happiness' seems to ebb and flow.  

I'm happiest when my most basic human needs are met and I am present to Love.  Love is within and all around me as an experience made up of simple moments.   

Moments are made up of fractions of time.  While we all have the same 24 hours a day, each of us spends our time according to our needs and priorities.  Sometimes needs shift and priorities get confused...


Opportunities to spend engaged in what I enjoy or what makes me happy are possible when I have the money necessary to have essential resources.  

Our needs as human beings are dependent on inner and outer resources. 

External resources are necessary as they provide security and a sense of stability.  We need shelter, food, clothes, and tools to make and prepare these basic necessities.  Without money we cannot get resources.  And without work one cannot obtain money.  

It is our internal resources that help us prioritize and fulfill our needs. 


Pictureby Debojit Bhadra http://www.flickr.com/photos/60508893@N03/
Without resources happiness is compromised.  Happiness is tied to resources.  Logically it seems that money can bring security even happiness. 

 
Therefore, well-paid work is important to the happiness equation?

Even when the work I've performed has been enjoyable, the time spent at work seems greater than the time I have left to dedicate to myself and my relationships.  

What happiness is there when our relationships or experiences are not cultivated, enjoyed, and nurtured?  

I hear more and more folks complain that their wages are not enough and that they rarely 'have time.'  Even those who make a very good salary complain that they work too much.  


If you ask me it seems like the lifestyle of servants. 


By contrast, there are those who live in humble even poverty like circumstances, but, who are not concerned with status, success,.... They are rich in spirit and truly seem happy because they have time and basic resources.  They care for each other, live in greater harmony with their surroundings and simply do not take life too seriously.  

Pictureby Kyle Pearce http://www.flickr.com/photos/keepitsurreal/
What lifestyle brings me happiness?

First, what is a lifestyle?

Lifestyle is defined as the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level that together constitute a way of living for individuals and groups. 

What kinds of lifestyle are there?

Lifestyles of the rich and famous, ascetic, bohemian, hippie,...

Many different lifestyle options.  

I cannot imagine a lifestyle that is consistently supportive of my happiness because life is ever changing.  However, what I enjoy and value will always influence the lifestyle that brings me fulfillment and happiness.  


The lifestyle that brings me happiness is one that allows me to have time for myself and others and that allows me to just be and to choose what I want to do.  It is a lifestyle between having ample resources without extreme luxury or void of comfort.  


I imagine this lifestyle to be flexible and interdependent on others goodwill and altruistic nature.  It is lifestyle that I want to co-create, collaboratively to foster unity.  


What's your happiness lifestyle and how have you cultivated it, or how will you?
Is your life in harmony with what you value?
What are your priorities and does your work and lifestyle support it?



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by Quotes Everlasting http://www.flickr.com/photos/quoteseverlasting/
 
 
Pictureby jiva http://www.flickr.com/photos/jiva/
What I get mad about are my unresolved fears?


Getting mad gives an illusory sense of power and security.  


As humans, we want a sense of security or we become anxiety prone.  

Too often the desire for security is pursued through fear based tactics. 

Fear begets fear. 

Getting mad doesn't make anyone "willingly" cooperate.  No one really wins by being mad.  Parents loose when they punish their kids, because kids will eventually resent being "forced."  In employment situations, employees comply with unfair practices out of fear of being fired, but, unethical behavior is sustained so long as there is submission to fear. 

Fear begets fear. 

Anger is energy that works against us.  Anger either immobilizes, fights or flees because it is unresolved fear.  

Fear is an emotion.

Emotions are like children.

Children need attention. 

Therefore, emotions need attention or they get out of control. 


Pictureby Nicki Dobrin http://www.flickr.com/photos/10050473@N08/
In my childhood, I developed the habit of turning anger in.  Anger turned in is depression. 

Depression was a choice that preserved me as a child.   As an adult depression is still a choice that keeps me from lashing out on others.  That is the positive side of depression.  The negative side of depression is that it stifles me. 

Depression is the sad face of feeling powerless.  Feeling powerless is scary.  It is more acceptable to look sad than mad or scared. 

Mad is the face of too many disappointments.

Too many disappointments is heartbreaking.  Heartbreak is painful.  

To avoid further pain, being mad is protective.  Having to protect implies there is fear.  

Unresolved fears will get our attention sooner or later for fear is a prison. 

Pictureby Dean Shareski http://www.flickr.com/photos/shareski/
It is is so natural to avoid the pain of the unknown even when we want it.   

Freedom is different than what is or what I know and am used to. 

Each time I choose the security of no change, I am disappointed.  


While control seeks to avoid the pain of unmet needs it never considers the needs of others.   In the long run anger and control compromises relationships including the one with ourselves. 


Ultimately, control frustrates and exhausts that which we most need and desire, love.  Getting mad is the pain of disappointed love.


Do you know what your unresolved fears are?  

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by Anant Nath Sharma http://www.flickr.com/photos/anantns/
 
 
Pictureby Duchess Flux http://www.flickr.com/photos/47217049@N05/
What do you get pouty about....?


Not getting what you want?
Wishing things were different?
Injustice?


Have a list of complaints that is long enough to make a short book out of?


A list of grievances makes me a whiny queen.  A whiny me, is an unhappy me.  Like when we were children, whiny behavior meant some need was not being recognized like being tired and in need of a nap.  

Being an adult doesn't mean I no longer have needs or that I alone can meet all my needs.  Being an adult means I am responsible for knowing my needs and doing my best to get those needs met. 

For instance, when I am not included in some way I feel disappointment. Therefore, I have a need for inclusion.  My responsibility is to voice my need for inclusion whether the outcome is favorable or not.  


Grievances remind me to listen to myself.   But just how much jurisdiction do I really have over my life?

As a human being I depend on others for resources....

Sometimes, I get whiny and pouty about matters I have no control over or perceive I have none.  

Pictureby BK Symphony of Love http://www.flickr.com/photos/pictoquotes/
Clearly as a human I cannot only rely on myself nor depend on only on others to take care of my needs.   

Too many unrecognized needs add up to many grievances which lead to very angry human behavior. 

In the past, to preserve some 'love,'  I turned my anger in.  

The key is to recognize the needs before they turn to grievances and result in behavior that seeks to right wrongs.  

Pictureby JL Johnson http://www.flickr.com/photos/user47/
Injustice fuels more injustice.  


We are human beings with common needs and desires.  Why inflict unnecessary hurt to each other?


When basic common human survival needs for safety, food, rest, and shelter go unmet they lead to stressed out and highly anxious humans.  


Stress and anxiety make any human capable of behaving in unpredictable ways. 

Violent incomprehensible acts are expressions of unmet survival needs.  Graffiti or the writing on the walls by a few, expresses what many think and feel.  

Pictureby John T. Spencer http://www.flickr.com/photos/edrethink/
I feel we are a tired humanity who wants their needs met.  


We need to be heard rather than being blamed, judged or punished. 


We are humans with a caring nature who become whiny, angry, depressed even disturbed when justice does not prevail.  


Rulers, leaders and authorities have responsibility to hear the grievances of the citizens they have jurisdiction over.  We all have a voice to peacefully express our unmet needs.   


Do you believe suffering is inevitable or justified on this planet?


Can our grievances as a humanity bring us together?


Do you know what your ultimate human grievance is?



Praying for leaders around the globe and all humanity to unite in caring for one another.
 
 
Pictureby dhodesigns http://www.flickr.com/photos/dhodesigns/
Is fear avoidable? 

No, being human for now means to experience fear. 

Not all fears are imaginary or ego based. 

Fear is not just false evidence appearing real.  Fear is information and like any information it gives me a choice.  

At this time, some humans are living under real threat to their physical existence in various parts around the globe. They are in trauma, stressed and fearful. There is violence and inhumanity.  That is not imaginary. 


While true threats to our physical well-being exist, we are wired to survive as humans.  Instincts to live kick in.  These instincts arise in the face of other fears too.  

Other fears may not threaten my physical existence in the moment and in the literal physical sense and yet they give rise to anxiety and stress.  

In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, when physiological needs are threatened naturally humans experience anxiety.  I get that, as I am living paycheck to paycheck and that causes some degree of stress.  If I allow my mind to run wild, then a state of anxiety arises. That is the reality of many in our nation.  Many are struggling financially and emotionally. 

The holiday season is here and the streets of the city reveal how civilized we truly are.


I'm not just referring to homeless but anyone whose basic needs are not met. In an affluent country we have hungry, underserved citizens who for example do not get quality health care.  There may be shelters, hospitals and 'handouts' but that has never been a permanent solution.  


Pictureby Martin Kelly http://www.flickr.com/photos/martkelly/
In this nation often many believe opportunities are ample and that each 'individual' can climb the ladder and reach the "American dream." 

What is the American dream?

1) A house you work hard for but cannot enjoy time in because you work so much?
2) An education that promises a well-paid career for better quality of life?
3) A spouse and/or kids you can rarely spend time with because you have little time even for yourself?
4) Self-employment that frees you to do what you want when you want, eventually?...

Just how hard must you and I work to climb up this ladder? 

Even if we do attain the american dream, what then?  I've observed many that are unhappy when they've made it.  

I cannot speak for all but I think as humans what we most want is safety and happiness.  Both of which depend on caring humans.  


Pictureby Ania http://www.flickr.com/photos/poetatum/
We want to experience a world that is safe and to feel happy.  

Safety comes from a civilized world that takes care of it's citizens.  Happiness comes from the quality of our relationships. 

We have a ways to go to create a safer city, nation and world.  It is a need that must be met before we can truly reach for loftier goals.  If we are too stressed and anxious it is hard to have quality time even for ourselves much less with others.  

I admit this worldview is a judgment.  I am sharing how I wish the world operated.  I believe in humanity and I experience sadness at times when I hear of behaviors that contradict the altruistic nature of humans.  

While I pray more of humanity embraces their caring nature, I also know that resisting the current reality is detrimental to me. 

Any resistance to what is, equals stress.  Fear that is not a direct threat to my physical life is just information. Like a ringing phone, it doesn't mean I have to pick it up.   I don't have to react to information, I can choose peace, patience, love and hope.  Sometimes easier said than done so I am practicing.  

My heart tells me to breathe deeper, slow down and give up control.  My heart's faith is expansive surrender.  My brave heart whispers be bold in our lifetime, we shall experience a world that is free of fear.


What do you feel is your choice when FEAR seems so real?

What does your heart say when you experience stress or anxiety?

What do you envision for our world and in your lifetime?

 
 
Pictureby Michelle Hyacinth http://www.flickr.com/photos/michelle_hyacinth/
Treat others better than yourself? 


Or is it that 'we' like to think that we treat others better than ourselves? 

The Golden Rule: 

What I do to myself, I do to others and what I do to others, I do to myself. 

Because of the golden rule, I am suspicious of those who say they treat others better than themselves. 
 
I can say many things but it is how I say things and how I behave that reveals my heart or frame of mind.  

It is natural and healthy to question the integrity of self and others when words and behavior are a mis-match. 

If I cannot be patient with myself, then how can I have patience with others?  I cannot.  

If I turn my back on others, then why shouldn't I turn my back on myself?

Everything starts with me, including the golden rule. 

Before I can be patient and truly kind to others, I must be patient and kind to myself.  

If I cannot be honest with myself, then I cannot be honest with others.  

If I judge myself, then I judge others.  

If I am forgiving of myself, then I can be forgiving of others. 

If I care for myself, then I can care for others.  

Sometimes I think we like the idea that we treat others better than ourselves.   


Pictureby James Burke http://www.flickr.com/photos/djburkey/
Growing up I heard numerous times that I could be so hard on myself.
In my mind it was 'good' that I had high expectations of myself.  I could not see how it was detrimental to expect so much of myself.  I could not understand that I was really beating myself up.  

In time, I could not see how I was expecting so much from others as well. 

Of course, I did not start out mentally beating up on myself.  I internalized being hard on myself.  

I internalized how my parents treated me.  

Pictureby susan http://www.flickr.com/photos/57336354@N00/
One can tell how someone was treated by how they treat themselves. 


It became second nature to be beat up on myself in attempt to avoid 'them' being hard on me.  Once internalized it became hard to see how I was being hard on myself.  


That is why I am suspicious when someone says they don't  (fill in behavior here)  others only themselves. 


A truer statement is that eventually, we do to others, what we do to ourselves.  Why? 


Once a behavior has been internalized it is on autopilot.  


Pictureby Hartwig HKD http://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/
Some internalized behaviors are so painful, that FEELING is avoided.  

I became savvy at 'saying' and 'doing' to keep from feeling the fear. The fear of failing and not being good enough....

The only way to heal is through the wound.  What is internalized must be felt to heal.  Initially, the wound stings. Afterward, their is relief, lightness and a subtle yet grounded sense of strength. 

Healing is a collaborative process.  Others can point out when I am behaving in ways that are counterproductive.  However, others cannot heal me, because no one can feel my feelings for me.  

The sword of the inner warrior is feeling!

So, while I may be suspicious of those who say they treat others better, I also know 'the internalized,' is a shield of defense.  Remembering that how someone treats themselves is about how they were treated growing up, helps me have compassion.    It never feels good to be treated unkindly, but, it is not a reflection on me.  

The shield of the inner warrior is compassion. 

The undesirable behaviors that are internalized are like a mirror that reveal the loveless ways we were treated when we were young children.  

When I imagine others as scared children, I judge less and more compassion comes forth.  Can you imagine this? 


Do you know what your undesirable-internalized behaviors are and how they cause distress in your life? 

How do you FEEL when others behave in unkind ways towards themselves?

Can you trust when others treat themselves in non-compassionate ways?


 
 
Pictureby Jenavieve http://www.flickr.com/photos/blackstarryskyy/
Who I imagine myself to be, is put to the test, by my unappreciated environmental triggers?


The environment is always offering me an opportunity to heal and love.  

When I cannot appreciate that my environment is offering a healing opportunity, I continue to behave contrary to what I am.

 
If who I believe myself to be becomes more important than how I am being, then I cannot be accountable for how I behave.  

I can only take responsibility for what I am able to see and have humility to admit. 

What I cannot see, I cannot appreciate. 

I cannot appreciate what my environment is offering me, when I do not recognize or know my triggers.  These unappreciated triggers, are emotionally charged, so I cannot see them.  
  
Unappreciated triggers are charged because they are unconscious or out of my conscious awareness.  The more they are made conscious, the more they become lessons of love.  


Pictureby Trauma&dissociation http://www.flickr.com/photos/traumaanddissociation/
Some things we experience, are so intense they go unconscious but leave invisible wounds. These wounds leave us hyper-sensitive to our environment. These wounds are our emotional triggers.  

Emotional triggers point back to a moment we experienced fear and deep excruciating hurt.  


Emotional triggers are those things that cause us to react intensely because they transport us back to a trauma.  


Having been through years of psychotherapy, I was surprised by what gone below my conscious awareness.  

In one work-setting I didn't immediately connect my severe nausea to the nature of my cases, so I quit the job shortly after starting.  It was very hard to walk away from the mental health and social work profession I was so passionate about.  I knew however, that I could not be effective for my clients when so much was being 'triggered' in me.   

I walked away not knowing if I would return to the field, but, my sense was that deepening my own healing would benefit others whether I returned to the profession or not. 

In my experience, trauma isn't limited to events that threaten our life or physical safety.  The event itself isn't what qualifies it as traumatic.  Anything that overwhelms us and leaves us feeling helpless and alone is trauma.  

Trauma is a subjective experience.  

No one is an expert of our internal experience but ourselves.    

Pictureby Louish Pixel http://www.flickr.com/photos/louish/
I believe trauma is more prevalent or widespread than our world admits or believes it can afford.  I also believe many are not getting diagnosed and treated.  

Instead, we are re-traumatized because we treat each other as objects to be improved upon, or illnesses that need to be secluded with little hope of becoming whole.   

Nothing is whole unless we see it as whole. 

To appreciate anything it, it has to felt to be seen. 

Nothing heals until it is felt.  We have to be brave to feel.  The unconscious has to arise through bravery and interactions with others.

It is a journey that requires time.  The world we share isn't concerned with supporting healing because it's focus is elsewhere.  We are kept too busy to have the luxury of time to heal from deep wounds.  So we recycle trauma.  

Being the heart rebel that I am, it has meant giving myself "time" to do my inner work even when it seemed I did not have the luxury of it.  

The external or "real world" says many things about what is acceptable and responsible.  Time for healing is not a top priority for the real world.  

I've had to ask myself if the real world or society has shown me it cares?  If so, then I owe it respect by abiding by perceptions and judgments of what is acceptable and responsible.  However, the real world shows me it doesn't really care, in fact it shows me h ow violent and inhumane it can be. That is why I chose to carve out time to heal more deeply. 

I believe each of us owes it to ourselves to heal our trauma.  And there are layers of it so in my experience it is a journey.  Even if we reach total liberation there are challenges until the day we physically cease to exist. 

While we may re-traumatize or recycle trauma, the good news is there is growing scientific evidence that rewiring our brain heals trauma.  There are alternative modalities that rewire our frequency from fear to love so we are able to respond differently to triggers. 


I have learned through trauma that what we are cannot hurt others, but, who we are can.  Who we think we are can corrupt our behavior. 

Who I imagined myself to be - I am not.  Who I am, is not as important- as what I am.  Where I imagined myself to be is not as important- as being.  

Maybe as a human race we need to see 'trauma,' as lessons in love.  

What we've been through isn't who we are.  Who we are is an image that changes. 

What we are is so much more than who we are!


Do you know the lessons of your trauma or your once unappreciated triggers?
  
 
 
Pictureby BK Symphony of Love http://www.flickr.com/photos/pictoquotes/
Stand out not because of:

- sophistication or humility

- beauty or ugliness

- eccentricity or plainness

- bold statements or meek speech


Stand out not because you are fearless, but because you dare to love.


Stand out not because you want attention, but because you shine bright. 


Stand out not because you want to be different, but because you are unique. 


Stand out not because of what others want you to be, but what you truly are.



Pictureby BK Symphony of Love
Emerge to stand out!


Stand out in truth of what you are. 


Applaud yourself for what you are. 


Applaud yourself for not having to become someone or having to do something special.


You stand out - just by being!


You stand out because your kindness ignites it in others.


Emerge as you are and you cannot help but stand out.


Emerge not because you are perfect, but, because every scar is the beauty of you. 


Emerge not because you think you are finally complete, but, because right where you are is saying yes to life.  


Emerge from the depths of needing approval. 


Emerge from the roots of your experiences.


Emerge knowing every condition has prepared you to stand out.


Emerge grounded in the wisdom of every challenge. 


Emerge and say yes to Life. 


Go ahead emerge and stand out!