So I wonder... what does it take to be happy?
Do we naturally need and want more the happier we become?
What I have come to realize is that true happiness wells up from deep inside us.
I also know that at my lowest I did not feel I deserved much. I felt I didn't need much while at the same time- I needed so much.
What I needed was to believe I could meet my own needs and desires. The thing is I was not sure what I needed or wanted. I had neglected my own needs for so long that I was lost.
No one could spoon feed me answers about how to be happy without subtly disempowering me. Some things are simply insider work.
I don’t have much more in my life now than when I was at my lowest. The difference now is that I feel lighter and happier. I also feel more deserving of love.
Does feeling more deserving of love lead to more desires?
"The fewer our wants the more we resemble the Gods." - Socrates
What I know so far is that believing I am worthy of love and goodness makes me more aware of what I need and want. I may not necessarily need more than when I did not feel worthy of love, but, now I am more open to love and goodness.
Does the expression “still waters run deep” resonate for you? Describes me and often quiet, passionate, thoughtful individuals who share themselves only to a select group. Oceans by nature are deep but not everyone wants to dive deep.
I am focusing my attention on meeting my needs and desires.
I am finding the beauty of what is in my life and reclaiming my own voice of truth.
Through trial and error -I self-soothe any idealization, fantasy or pain about controlling what is not for me to control.
I am feeling happier than ever before.
I am the seeker and the guru.
I often ask myself: what do I need, how do I feel, what can I do to meet these needs, and what would make me happy right now? These questions guide me and empower me. The answers offer me a choice to be more present to myself and others.
It may sound easy -yet the journey from my head to my heart is major work. In his book, The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness, Gary Zukav quotes his uncle as saying to him “...the longest journey you will make in your life is from your head to your heart,..”
Or put another way by the mystic poet Kabir “the intensity of the longing does all the work.”
As we are desensitized from our true compass of happiness or wisdom by being conditioned and rewarded for overanalyzing.
Overanalyzing covered up my strong intuitive sense.
I’m working on listening to my heart.
Conscious inquiry allows me to develop muscles necessary to surf and dive deep into my heart.
I am developing “focus” muscles and willing to risk-take or have courage to request what I desire or need. I am also building detachment muscles to let go of things that no longer resonate. I’m assimilating the past in my present.
I’m developing a philosophy on happiness that comes from deep within. I’ll share it in the future.
For now-what I can say is that as always --I encourage questions and answers to arise from within.
What I share is just my journey.
And I’m hopeful about the journey back to my heart. My intent is set on self-love and loving.
Yes, opening up and letting go...
“Saying yes to ourselves, letting ourselves be as we are, opening our heart to ourselves- all of this serves to kindle the inner glow of self-love, bringing healing to our core wound...We must be able to let love all the way into us.”
- John Wellwood author of “Perfect Love, Imperfect relationships.”
"I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think." -- Socrates
Is your cup too filled to receive the waters of love?