Is rushing how our heart and spirit want to live?
On September 12th, I was hospitalized and unconscious in the ICU for over a day.
I am grateful to be alive and for the love that is within and all around.
I am grateful to be functioning as well as I am given, the circumstances and length of time it took to get me to the hospital.
It seems like a true miracle that I am alive!
In a way, I feel like the character George from the film “It's a Wonderful Life,” who realizes his richness is in the friends and people that surround him more than any material things.
I’m deeply grateful for the lessons and the richness of my life.
The past month, has led me to question myself a little deeper about the strength of my will, the pace of my life, and the commitment to my destiny. The lessons from my "sleeping beauty experience," are coming through and will continue to….
I invite you to read a bit of this part of my journey here. I hope you will join me at a pace that feels good to you. And I hope, the questions I pose serve you as well.
Initially, my mind tried to recall where I had been, however, all I knew is that I was feeling peaceful, loved, respected and that everyone seemed so familiar. I also felt some restlessness, however, it paled by comparison to my serenity.
As I enjoyed the serenity, I was informed by hospital staff that I would not be driving for 6 months, as it is the law in California when you've had a seizure. I knew that meant I would not be working with my current employer. Usually, I would have worried, however, I was calm and wanted to remain that way.
Instead, I wondered why I had pelvic pain. I did not tell anyone about my pelvic pain, while I was in the hospital. I figured that all my aches would go away in time. What crossed my mind next, was that the hospitalization would be expensive. My sister told me “to not even think about it.” My thought was my life is messy and seems out of my control.
In that moment, I decided to surrender it all.
As I lay in the hospital bed, time seemed to move fast, but mostly ever so slow.
It seemed, soon after I surrendered, that a woman came in and said to me and my sister that the hospital stay would not cost me anything.
I was so grateful. I did not question it, I just felt truly thankful and gave thanks to God.
A little later a physical therapist came in to check on me. He asked me, 'you're not thinking you won't be able to walk, are you?" I informed him, I had already walked over to the bathroom. Indeed, being unable to walk was not something I had thought of. :)
Thoughts are powerful. I was blessed by my brain being slow, as it made it easier to be in my heart. I had to concentrate on one thing at a time.
I feel, as though I have been knocked down, to slow down.
Perhaps, sometimes we have to slow down in order to renew and transform.
Being out by nature has reminded me to be patient as I integrate my intense experience.
Since I felt and looked overall well, I pushed myself before I was fully recovered.
Now, I am willing to take the time I need to recover. I am being more gentle and kind to myself. I trust, that even at a slower pace, I can accomplish what is in my heart.
I’m willing to take the path of least resistance.
The Universal flow is ever present and my intention is to gain momentum in it….
Now, that my brain is not as slow, my challenge is to stay in the moment, to use my thoughts effortlessly as I align with my heart....
So, I am willing to accept where I am and appreciate what is.
I give thanks for realizing that I came back to rewrite my story through surrender.
How do you know if you are in surrender or the path of least resistance?
Have you discovered that you can rewrite your story, even if the stars say things are not in your favor?
Dedicated to all who have been struggling or resisting life, love and the abundance of the Universe.
Perhaps, this blog will finalize and instead my focus will shift to writing my book.
Perhaps, I've just been thinking that I should be sleeping, instead of feeling my way….
Sleepless nights an opportunity to write from my heart.