One day an unexpected illusion turned into hope. One day love emerged. One day faith turned into fantasy?
One day it all collapsed...
A romance turned into a fantasy....
My desire to be found. Desired to be in partnership with a strong loving man. Finally, imagined I had been found and would be appreciated and pampered for all that I am.
One day I realized my faith had gotten mixed up with fantasy.
Fantasies can be seductive ways of self-distraction. Other times they can spur us to take our desires into our hands.
Fantasies create attachments to something that has no solid grounding. Still, everything serves a purpose. Fantasies make life a little more enjoyable. Waking up from the fantasy that is a different matter.
Love in its most beautiful manifestation is an expansive and all encompassing feeling, understanding and knowing.
This understanding and knowing is beyond logic and borders on fantasy as words cannot capture the experience.
Beautiful, rich, kind, dynamic inner life.
Life is an experience. Life is an experience in having faith.
Along the way are lessons not void of faith. I can be certain that faith is my ally.
While my fantasy got mixed with faith it is best that my fantasies not manifest.
Fantasies cannot fulfill me the way self-love can.
A recollection that I hold dear in my heart and mind. This ever present memory remains my firm reminder and commitment to Love as the ultimate liberation.
Ultimate liberation is here and now even when it does not seem like it.
My perception of liberation is just that. My views of life, success and failure are perceptions as well.
Success and failure depend on my attitude and my actions. Am I taking baby steps towards what I want? Am I having fun as I go? Am I wanting to succeed? Do I truly feel worthy of success? Yes to all of the above and I am willing to ask for help.
I know all I desire follows from being present and really being committed to the truth of Love.
I see why being in love can be a close experience of liberation. Being in love gives us wings.
Perhaps, the feeling of being in love is why so many of us on earth desire union with a mate, as it comes close to liberation.
Liberation like faith is an experience. Faith is an individual experience. Love is a unique yet universal experience. Love is an experience not a destination but a journey.
My success right now is loving myself more deeply. Loving myself by being very good to myself. It is a sincere tender love affair. I continue discovering my rich inner world. I enjoy meeting others in their bountiful world as well.
Then, when I woke up from the fantasy, I realized my faith had taken me further.
It was the fantasy that hurt. It is the attachment to falsehood that hurts. It is why fantasies and lies often hurt.
It is the belief in non-reality that can and does cause suffering.
And suffering is under my/our control.
I can choose to see the fantasy. I do not have to suffer. I inadvertently hurt myself through my fantasy. Ultimately, I created and imagined a future void of solid grounding in the present. I imagined true love had found me. The fantasy I created became a hurtful catalyst in my inspiration to write more about love. Everything serves a purpose.
It seems faith is our default.
Faith does not mean things will turn out as I desire.
Faith is about trusting that regardless of outcomes I am okay.
Sometimes it is about a lesson.....
My lesson in trust.
Trust in the Truth. Trust in Love within. Trusting the Universe. Trust in everything as sacred.
The sacred truth or what is real cannot be threatened. Love is real and therefore cannot be threatened.
There is always a sustainable fountain of faith and love that is present every moment.
It is accessible when I allow my vulnerability to reveal itself. Vulnerability unleashes faith....
No matter what the fantasy or trouble---faith is there.
Faith is present and like love always alive.
I am alive in Love. I am Love.
Falling in love can be so easy when we let ourselves go.
Staying in love is a practice and like all practices takes effort and even discipline.
I'm glad I can fall in love easily. I'm also glad that I love so deeply.
Ultimately, everyone I fall for is really me. Everyone I have longed for is me. Every fantasy is me. Everything is me/you....
So, my question is why suffer for a fantasy, a longing, an extension of me?
I can choose to live in peace. I have choices at every moment. I can love no matter what.
I rather risk loving and hurting than to regret and live half alive. There are many excuses I can create to live a lie.
I can use my mind to create my reality. I can manifest through playful imagination.
Overtime, I can become skillful at manifesting a magical reality.
What I want does not have to manifest instantly. If I can detach from the manifestation of my desires, then I am free to be in the here and now.
Here and now, my mind is not an enemy but an ally.
Only to be an ally "I "must be playful like a child. Like a child I must keep things simple.
A simple and playful journey is a joyful existence. A joyful existence is real success.
What is your fantasy?
What is alive in your fantasy world?
Can the reality of this moment be more enticing than the fantasy?
Maybe the fantasy is a catalyst to the truth of Love?
Dedicated to my beautiful mom and to him