Is what I tune into a reflection of who I really am?
Once more I am doing a bit of introspection.
I'm smiling - as I think about how inner work or spiritual paths don't have to be so serious!
Humor keeps matters light and humble.
We are energetic beings who vibrate according to the frequency we are tuned into. Our whole being speaks loud and clear. It is not just the sound of our voice that speaks of our alignment or misalignment to love.
Who am I drawn to?
I feel drawn to those who speak with conviction.
When someone’s voice carries conviction it is inviting to me. I become curious about them. I want to learn if what they say and do is congruent. Someone who is in integrity is someone whose presence is felt.
A person's wholeness is attractive. A whole person is confident. Persons in integrity- make us want to be around them. It is also easier for me to open myself up.
Put simply - I'm drawn to gentle- fun loving individuals.
Soft, tenderness, warmth...
I choose to tune into the truth of the moment.
I'm an imperfect human being with a soft and deep heart.
I'm grateful for each experience has made me who I am. There have been times when I have behaved contrary to who I really am.
It wasn’t always like that. With my college friends, I recall being the one that was generous in demonstrating affection. That changed when the hurt me was triggered.
I understand the reasons at their root. I thought I needed to protect myself and not experience further pain.
My communication style didn't help matters. I hadn’t had the best role models for self-expression. I had also learned to be unforgiving. In many ways I felt cheated by life. At times I even felt entitled by circumstances.
I began to keep mental track of exchanges feeling that relationships were not reciprocal. Feeling used -I began to lose touch with the joy of just giving. Overtime, I came to hold grudges. I became so misaligned that I grew to really dislike myself. I couldn't even recognize my true self in the buried sands of my existence.
I had begun to close my heart. I was unforgiving of small things. When we cannot forgive small things, of course forgiving bigger things becomes nearly impossible. What I needed was my own attention. I needed to tune into my heart frequency.
A wounded heart needs attention or it leads to imbalance of our whole being.
Interestingly enough admitting I had depression was not easy, but, it was still easier than touching the depth of my pain.
I would not have admitted it while I was still depressed, but, now I can say that my depression served a purpose. It served to keep me in my comfort zone. Depression kept me from touching my own wounded heart.
My unhealed wounds led to my stingy behavior. I couldn't be vulnerable because that meant exposing my wounds and that seemed too painful. So the pain got deeply buried. Pain that is buried doesn’t vanish.
Buried pain becomes depression. Depression is nourished by ungrieved and unforgiven hurts.
When I made the decision to be brave and feel the pain, life force emerged! Until then, depression drained me.
The good news is that the spark of life force is always there for us to tune into. The spark of life comes more alive when we align with the truth of ourselves. I needed to align with the brave me. What has been revealed is the beauty of my spirit.
I feel blessed....
What are you tuned into?