Why does our heart seem to break?
Our heart breaks not just because we have loved, but because we had an attachment to that love.
It is natural and part of being a human being.
Sometimes our passage forward appears halted by things we cannot readily discern.
Old wounds, patterns, and fears of an uncertain future anchor the present in the past or future.
If we have become well versed in various self-help techniques or tend to overanalyze we won't really understand our heart-break. I know this has been my experience. I didn’t always discern my visceral experience. I made choices that felt less anxiety provoking.
We naturally want to speed up our healing but we stall it by by not being with what is alive in us, deep hurt. What was most loving to myself was to simply realize that I needed to work at my heart's pace.
The truth is that we still move-on, even when it does not seem like it.
Why? Life is a powerful force that does not stop. We simply resist to engage life fully. Eventually, we get it.
our needs attached to the beloved we are no longer with.
Our needs are natural, however, one person cannot meet all our needs, nor is to be expected.
To release the anchor, we must be emotionally self-aware of the anchor.
With emotional-awareness what releases the anchor is:
1- our ability to respond to our needs and
2- our choice to let go of outcomes.
Often easier said than done.
We have to be honest about what needs we've given up to the beloved or anyone we have experienced heartbreak with. And be willing to meet our needs. We are worth the emotional-work.
We embrace that there is a rupture with our beloved and it may be permanent and it may not.
We simply take our time to heal and let go of regret or anything that is not loving to our self.
Our beloved is free to be where they want and need to be and that is how we love them through the rupture.
We may obsess about getting get back together and neglect our deeper needs.
The anchor offers a false sense of security that keeps us from setting sail.
Life is patiently there wanting us to meet ...
If we can take the focus off our self even a little, we will see that the view is changing.
Life is happening...
At first, releasing the attachment is the most terrifying thing we may do. It hurts, so we may anchor again because we have not understood how we attached our needs to the beloved. I know I've been there.
Even if we move-on to someone else, we will attach our needs to that new lover. It is why "moving-on" is not the victory of recovering from a breakup or heartbreak.
We come to expect from them what we need to do for ourselves.
When we have greater understanding of our attachment then we consciously make a choice to be brave and let go.
The reward of letting go is that we set sail as the winds shift.
At first it may be too slow or too fast but that is okay. We begin to trust the waters of life. We move along renewed by meeting our needs which is self-loving.
We meet life as is; that is a victory.
The victory of our heart breaking is having loved.
The victory of recovering from heartbreak isn't just moving-on, but, loving ourselves a little more.
The victory of moving-on from heartbreak is being free to anchor and set sail at our pace.
We can anchor in our love and set sail in our deeper love.
Life is a journey of loving and being loved in the vast ocean of Love.
How do you feel about your most recent heartbreak?
What do you think is the victory of your most recent recovery from a breakup?
Dedicated to the self-broken hearted.
Much love to you
with my whole being