Getting mad gives an illusory sense of power and security.
As humans, we want a sense of security or we become anxiety prone.
Too often the desire for security is pursued through fear based tactics.
Fear begets fear.
Getting mad doesn't make anyone "willingly" cooperate. No one really wins by being mad. Parents loose when they punish their kids, because kids will eventually resent being "forced." In employment situations, employees comply with unfair practices out of fear of being fired, but, unethical behavior is sustained so long as there is submission to fear.
Fear begets fear.
Anger is energy that works against us. Anger either immobilizes, fights or flees because it is unresolved fear.
Fear is an emotion.
Emotions are like children.
Children need attention.
Therefore, emotions need attention or they get out of control.
Depression was a choice that preserved me as a child. As an adult depression is still a choice that keeps me from lashing out on others. That is the positive side of depression. The negative side of depression is that it stifles me.
Depression is the sad face of feeling powerless. Feeling powerless is scary. It is more acceptable to look sad than mad or scared.
Mad is the face of too many disappointments.
Too many disappointments is heartbreaking. Heartbreak is painful.
To avoid further pain, being mad is protective. Having to protect implies there is fear.
Unresolved fears will get our attention sooner or later for fear is a prison.
Freedom is different than what is or what I know and am used to.
Each time I choose the security of no change, I am disappointed.
While control seeks to avoid the pain of unmet needs it never considers the needs of others. In the long run anger and control compromises relationships including the one with ourselves.
Ultimately, control frustrates and exhausts that which we most need and desire, love. Getting mad is the pain of disappointed love.
Do you know what your unresolved fears are?