This army is programmed like a machine with it's only mission to destroy the enemy.
But, who is the enemy?
Anger...critical self-talk can be brutal...
It was never ok to be angry and yet there were dramatic displays of anger growing up....
Anger is brutal when disowned.
Disowned anger, is unresolved fear that controls the holder of anger.
Anger briefly empowers us, but, sooner or later the life force drys up.
Anger gives rise to sensations of discomfort.
It is my 'brutal thoughts' that drain me.
I am drained by my brutal thoughts who attempt to fight against the enemy, only the enemy is not outside of me!
The enemy developed during traumatic moments.
The enemy is anything that threatens my existence or sense of self or safety....
How do I defeat this army who lives inside my mind?
How do I outsmart this mental army?
Do I defeat this inner army?
Is there a greater army that I can deploy? Is there a reset button to wipe out this army?
Can I seduce this army?
It matters how I defeat my inner army.
I choose the most loving possibility.
I seduce my army of soldiers...
I breathe out loud...
I perfume myself with the sweet and woody scent of sandalwood.
The scent of sandalwood helps me to get in touch with my senses.
The scent of sandalwood grounds me in my body and comforts me.
The scent seduces my being.
One by one the soldiers in my mind relax.
I am brought to my knees.
As if I had a long neck, I have an expanded view.
My awareness helps to see the hurt caused by my self-judgment or brutal self talk.
The soldiers show me how they wanted to protect me. Only they don't know that the enemy is one and the same.
The fragrance envelops my memory. I see flashes of moments when admitting my defects was so very hard or threatening to my sense of self.
It was too much to take responsibility to a fractured self. I angered to defend the innocent and pure me. I blamed to self-preserve.
Even now, my army tries to show me I matter.
The antidote scent of brutal self-talk is found not just in aromatherapy but in holding space for myself.
Just space to connect to myself; to just be.
Space created by nurturing what has been ignored, invalidated, neglected, analyzed, judged, or shamed.
I can make ' space for myself, ' just by stepping back out of my thoughts or into my body.
The space is always there in the background.
My army of soldiers were in their own way attempting to care for me.
Now, the antidote to brutal self-talk is found in increasing my self-care.
I am mindful of brutal self-talk as an old army seeking to protect me.
I choose to engage my army not in battle but in new strategies of caring for me that change the scent in the air from harsh to nurturing.
My intention is on having my army committed to spreading the warfare of kindness and belonging.
What is your current status within? Turmoil? War? Harmony? Expansion?
Is your's an inviting scent or a deterring smell?