The dance was familiar....
It was painfully familiar.
The elements of dance are found in relationships.
In dance there has to be bodies, space, action, energy, and time. There is also beat, rhythmic patterns, resistance or tension, weight, direction, focus, cues that connect and guide us.
In my latest romance, I was dancing to a 'familiar tune.'
While familiar is often safer and even comforting my dance with him was not comforting.
He said, my tears seemed to be deeper than about him and I. In a way he was right. My sorrow was about feeling alone many times as a child. My parent's were unable to be emotionally present to me as they were so caught up in themselves.
Like my parent's he couldn't be present to me. That was familiar. I often did not feel heard or understood. He couldn't listen much less understand me as he was checked out of the present. Being present is necessary to meet other needs.
It was a familiar sacrifice to put my needs aside.
I began to mourn before I made the spontaneous and intuitive decision to end the relationship. I'm grateful to my inner child for getting my attention and for realizing as an adult I have choices.
For much of my 20s and 30s I was caught up in my own wounding so I can understand others like my parent's and former partner who were unable to be present to me.
While I have compassion for others struggling to be present, I know compassion starts with me.
My inner child is happy I am honoring her by choosing a less familiar tune.
She dances even when the decision to let him go has been tough. It may be raining for a while in her heart, but, she knows the rain will subside and a rainbow will appear.
What is familiar may be comfortable at first, but, it is not necessarily growth promoting.
In my latest partner dance, the pattern wasn't creating fluidity. The dance was not expanding my experience. The familiarity was not comforting as I was ready to break the pattern.
Like in dance, if I danced the same all the time, it would not be fun. If I danced to the same tune, it would not be fun. If I danced alone all the time, it would not be fun.
Dance like life is ever fluid. When dance is familiar or static, some of the beauty and magic fade. What is beautiful is dancing to the truth that is alive in us, that is fluid.
Our inner child informs us of what we need and what no longer serves us.
Are you honoring the dance/life/needs grabbing your attention?