Doesn't reality know my hopes, dreams, plans and so conspire in my favor?
Do my desires and expectations create a fight with reality?
Is reality yielding and kind? Or is it I -that needs to be yielding and kind with what shows up in my reality?
I invite you to create a space of inner hibernation to uncover the answers to this inquiry.
This post is about the kindness of flexibility or adaptability. Grab your tea or cozy throw and dive into yourself. Warning you may be dancing by then end of this post.
Accepting reality does not mean I do not experience 'negative emotions.'
Accepting reality does not mean I enjoy negative emotions.
Acceptance of reality just means I move with resistance or flow through what is present.
Reality may seem to pester me but the intention is not to derail my plans.
Does reality know my aspiration and plans?
Reality just is. Whether I choose to believe there is opposition, competing agendas or conspiracy may not be as relevant as knowing reality offers me opportunities to learn and grow. Reality is kind this way.
Adversity is often a great way to 'get' a lesson.
As a child I needed structure to feel a sense of predictability and safety. Inconsistency was anxiety provoking. Unfortunately and fortunately, my upbringing was chaotic and far from mentally or emotionally predictable. I learned to create my own structure and the lack of emotional safety helped develop my intuitive muscle.
I often experienced frustration in the face of my parent's perfectionism. I internalized the perfectionism which often led to feeling impatient with myself. I often felt incompetent when I didn't do things quickly and efficiently enough for my dad. My timing was not respected. Fortunately, as an adult I see the value of tolerating frustrations and opposition.
Being able to accept frustrations allows us to develop flexibility, creativity, strength and adaptability. Tolerating frustration and opposition makes us receptive to change, makes us creative and makes us more conscientious. Overtime our ability to adapt makes us more pleasant to be around. Those who struggle tolerating frustration tend to be rigid and come across as having capricious desires, expectations and demands. It is much easier to be around flexible and adaptable persons as they make pleasant company.
So what kind of company am I?
When reality is unpleasant to me, do I become intolerant?
I can be annoyed and I tend to become quiet. I am aware that I need not turn unpleasant when reality seems to oppose me.
It is insanity to think that reality will send me less of what I do not want or more of what I do- by fighting with it. It is more fun to dance with reality.
Reality just invites me to dance.
I can be speechless and still dance with reality. I just have to move a little or a lot.
To dance I do not need understanding. I can just express what is alive in me!
I may be off beat and yet I can still dance with reality.
Reality shows me every step of the way that it has my back. Reality supports me even when it doesn't seem like it. Right where you and I are - we are supported. Right now, as I sit and type, as I breathe and as I go through my days I am supported. How do I know? Once, I was a baby dependent on my parents and a larger community of human beings. Today, I am a grown woman kind and loving....
Reality can be challenging and yet it can still be kind. In the midst of painful experiences or invasive unpleasantness -is the comfort of our heartbeat, the ground to stomp or weep on. If we are blessed, we may have others to hold us. In time, our aches pass and we become more resilient.
Reality is a teacher of great humanity. We learn to be kind to ourselves through the kindness of others. We learn to adapt as the one constant seems to be change.
Reality teaches us to let go because when we don't we create suffering by having attachment to what is ever-changing. We learn to be humble or else we border on the absurd.
Reality has taught me to be yielding as that means I win in the face of opposition. I used to think that self-affirmation was being empowered not allowing myself to be pushed around but that is not always the case. Like water I've learned when and when not to take action. Being yielding can keep us safe in the prospect of violence.
Flexibility, adaptability are an art taught by my dance with Reality.
In this dance I have learned that safety and security do not come from outside of me. My stronghold is not in others or in things. My stronghold is in a benevolent source that is wise and kind.
It is kind to keep moving because sometimes the dance is euphoric and when it is not, it is just a matter of time before I am ecstatic once again...the dance is never the same.
Frustrations are the resistance of my dance with reality. Without resistance the dance is lifeless.
So how pleasant a dancer are you in the face of change or adversity?
Do you lead or a you led in your dance with Reality?