When frustration is alive in us, there is a treasure buried deep within?
Frustration feels like a ton of bricks on me and I like I will burst in flames because of it's sense of urgency. It seems I could spin in circles and not get anywhere. I could scream or cry and then shut down.
Frustration narrows my focus, so that I cannot see the whole panorama. It is aggravated by a tough inner voice (internalized critic) that wants things done 'right and immediately.'
Something tells me to take a break and I resist because the internalized critic demands or wants to force me do things. Yes, I need to accomplish things but not with harshness.
I can see the dynamic and now I understand I may live with this voice for a while longer maybe even the rest of my life, but, for sure I am committed to being more gentle and action oriented.
When frustration hits, it can seem like one is helpless.
I have been asking myself if the thoughts that lead to my frustration are true. Because if there is any possibility that they are not, then it means I can find a way to beat my habituated thoughts or overprotective mind.
Is it true that I can't...?
Is it true that it is too much?
Is it true that it should be any other way?
Oh, that 'should.." hits the core of it.
Wanting it to be other than as it is, is a sure way to be discontented and frustrated.
Fighting with what is, is a definite way to be stressed.
Resisting what is, is stressful even exhausting.
If I cannot change or control what is, then I have a choice to surrender not give up but offer up and let go. If I can change what is, then I can expand my focus and make the simple choices or decisions that will step by step lead me to what I hope for.
Frustration can stop us in our tracks. The ability to move forward when things seem challenging is what builds confidence. So why do we avoid challenges?
According to speaker Mel Robbins, when we hesitate our minds protect us from the challenges (mind's auto pilot) even when the challenges are part of what we want. She says the key is to count backwards from 5 to stop the old habit. See the video at the end of blog to move from thought to action. It is a long video so if pressed for time listen at 33 minutes on controlling our thoughts, overcoming anxiety, self-doubt and more.
Easier said than done? Is living with frustration easier?
Is frustration useless or does it offer any wealth of information that is useful?
Frustration is only useless if I allow it to keep me idle.
If one can go deeper from the surface of the waves to what is stirring the current, then there is a treasure there.
The treasure gets missed.
Once there was a vibrant child who was helpless to change circumstances...
Feeling helpless overtime leads to internalized anger or depression.
Depression is a choice. I've written in the past about this. I admit, I have to remind myself of this.
I choose to depress to avoid taking responsibility in some way in my life.
Outwardly my life has not changed very much in the past decade, which tells me I have avoided challenges or allowed my ego/mind to needlessly protect me.
It is not only frustrating for me, but, I can see how frustrating this might be for those who care about me and know I am capable of much more than I demonstrate.
The solution has not been found by overthinking nor in taking my sweet time to act. However, without clarity I am without a clear direction. Without a clear direction, I am idle. To have clarity I need to be calm. To be calm I am increasing my self-care and awareness of the only moment there ever is: now.
Below the surface of frustration is an old helpless-self that needs my inner support to fly out even if it seems there is only one wing.
The treasure of frustration is making active choices rather than reacting. Knowing what is out of my control helps me to choose surrender rather than to just give up. Giving up is giving into frustration. Life moves on with or without us.
Cannot avoid annoyances nor wish challenges or fears away. Peace is not found but cultivated.
The treasure of frustration is freeing my true self who has invisible wings.
Do you know what lies beneath your frustration and how to support yourself to act in your best interest?
What's the wealth of your frustration?
How can you turn the uselessness of frustration into wings of hope?