If so, when does pain turn into pleasure?
Some pain is purging; is this the pleasure we seek and confuse?
Pleasure too can turn into pain.
Like wanting a lover who no longer wants us.
Many times I became discouraged by the extent of my emotional pain. It seemed to have no end and my tears were never purging enough. What was it going to take to purge me of pain?
Now, I can see that my aversion or resistance to pain, was not allowing the wisdom of my heart's healing capacity.
I also had mixed feelings about trusting the Universe.
What I discovered was that in moments when the pain seem almost unbearable, I felt the benevolence of the Universe even amidst my sorrow or anguish.
Moments of intense pain can make us believers of the Universe's limitless kindness and grace.
What is certain is that pain needs to be felt, without analyzing, evaluating or intellectual understanding.
My trauma had made me pain averse but prone to guilt when I experienced pleasure.
Trauma impacts our brain. The brain releases opioids to decrease pain and increase pleasure.
Pain and pleasure steer us but are not ultimate destinations.
For when they become destinations, they become sources of 'suffering.'
Pain invites us into the moment and to heal.
Like when we cut our finger while cooking, we attend to the cut/pain. We are brought into focus on caring for the wound. Only with emotional pain, the instinct to attend to the pain didn't steer me to engage in healing. Was it counterintuitive? I don't know.
Certainly, I was not some masochist and I knew enough not to be pathologically addicted to pain.
It took me some time to realize the strength of surrendering to pain.
From my pain emerged compassion.
Through surrender to my deep hurt, compassion and empathy purged me.
Surrender means being raw, messy, scared, humbled, defeated, unresistant to the flow of emotion and tears. Those tears carry sound of a deep and core wound. Tears from the soul purge and free us of 'suffering.'
When we are hurting, surrender allows the grace and wisdom of a Loving Universe to hold us tenderly. My heart's remedy was unconditional loving space.
Pain increases presence and resilience.
Pain is transcended through empathy.
We can become better human beings because of pain.
In a world of duality, pain is woven into our experiences of pleasure. Experiences by nature are transient, yet, our potential to learn, grow and appreciate are constant.
Therefore, pain has value in our lives as humans.
It is because of pain that we can value happiness.
But, happiness is never aversion or attachment to something that brings pleasure or reduces pain. Happiness to me is being able to embrace and let go over and over and over.
Pain and pleasure are experiences we embrace and inevitably release.
Power comes not in giving into pleasure nor in minimizing pain, but, in surrendering to the experiences of pain and pleasure.
Have you experienced the sweet and bold surrender to the grace and benevolence of your being? Like fire that needs air?