Transparency has it's limits and can even be illusory?
What is the deceit of transparency?
Is there depth to transparency?
Can transparency make me more confident?
This post is about transparency and our humanity.
Sometimes as a private person, the more we share the more we seem to entrust ourselves to another. However, not all transparency whether or not we are private is truly vulnerable.
How we express our deepest feelings and thoughts is how we are felt.
We have to ask ourselves am I telling parts of my story wholeheartedly? Or am I sharing my story openly but cut-off from my feelings?
I may self-disclose facts and matters that seem very personal in nature and still not reveal the core of my experience or myself. To reveal the depth of my experiences is to give up the 'splendor of identity, or ego.'
Identity may be how I present myself to the world or how I want to be perceived in the world.
Revealing what is beyond identity is intimate and vulnerable.
Beyond what may be obvious about me, what I do or don't do for a living, where I live or what I wear is a world within me. The world within is filled with our sensitivities, fears, hopes those human aspects that we all share and can connect us.
It is our vulnerability that makes us accessible and more likeable.
Beyond identity is our shame and our humanity.
It is not about sharing what was once hidden or a source of shame that is vulnerable.
What makes us truly vulnerable is our ability to be tender when in the past we tensed up, cowared, defended or ran. Yes, in the past we may not have been transparent because we could not be vulnerable.
The quality of connection and intimacy is correlated with our willingness to risk being vulnerable. Not everyone may embrace us as we are. It is a risk worth taking because those who do embrace us, do so in the splendor of our humanity. Those interactions may not be lifetime connections yet they leave an indelible memory in us. We value those who show us their soul.
Closeness is built in moments of sheer humanity.
Transparency is only as deep as our willingness to feel our feelings and share our honest thoughts.
Vulnerability gives depth to transparency.
Can transparency help me to become more confident?
Transparency doesn't necessarily build connection nor confidence. We can say alot and not truly be known. The way to build confidence is to risk embarrassment or being hurt.
How does the possibility of ridicule or being hurt build our confidence?
We learn to take chances, build trust in life and in our ability to recover. We may learn to honor our gut feeling of who to trust and when to open up. We may learn we had more courage and strength than we realized.
I know for me there can still be times when I do not want to be perceived as "not having it together," and yet I know that being myself at any given moment is a strength. Freedom is in boldly loving myself beyond external dictates.
Transparency alone is not powerful. Transparency lacks humanity without vulnerability. Transparency comes alive with bravery, trust and compassion.
What do you think does transparency alone bring us closer?
Can there be vulnerability without transparency?
What do you need to feel safe and bold enough to leap and reveal yourself today?