Losses are to be grieved at our own pace but what if we inhibit our own healing?
Sometimes it seems easier to shift our attention to other things than what is alive in us. And yet other times it is too easy to plunge into a state of endless despair over the loss of a loved one.
What is the difference between grief that heals us versus one that torments us?
And we are vulnerable beings. That vulnerability is what makes us attractive to other human beings and it is the beauty of humanity.
We form attachments that make us vulnerable. We hurt when we can no longer see and hold our loved one.
It hurts not being able to share our love with that being nor being able to receive the love that they offered. That awareness brings loss to the present.
The alternative is to resist reality, our vulnerability and be untrue to our mourning process.
To resist what is, is futile.
To disallow vulnerability is unkind.
I cannot be true to myself, if I do not just experience all of my feelings.
I realize in this moment there is no "us," anymore.
It hurts to miss tender moments and not have them anymore. Not seeing thoughtful texts, not hearing their voice, their scent, etc.
The truth is he still lives in my mind and shall remain in my heart.
Only to mourn effectively I must make sure I keep my mind from using me. The human mind can wander to the past and future. Sometimes, the past and future are tools of self-torment.
What is compassionate in mourning my loss is to feel what the past and future have to share. The more I can listen to my whole being, the more it allows me to leave the past and future where they belong.
The medicine of mourning is honoring my heart and spirit.
The grieving process is only inhibited by the mind.
Not mourning losses is dishonoring the love and life inside of me.
Inhibited mourning prevents us from building confidence in our ability to move on and share our love again.
Effective mourning is feeling the intensity of our hurt without filtering it.
The medicine is in our heart. I can miss the present by letting my mind wander endlessly to the past and future.
The truth of mourning uninhibitedly, is that it is very caring/loving to ourselves.
We live more freely by loving and mourning without holding back.
Joy can surface again unexpectedly when I mourn at my pace.
Cheers to you if you live fully by grieving as deeply as you love!
Cannot the joy of love also be the grief of loss?