I was caught by the ground I was always standing on.
I didn't need to be admired...
I didn't need to hide my emotions...
I didn't need to change you...
I didn't need to keep trying...
I am writing from the perspective of the one idealized, over-admired or placed on a pedestal.
I cannot say I never saw it coming. I let you know I didn't want to be put on a pedestal. You said you saw my flaws....
Only you needed me to take the fall. It was "me" why "we didn't work out."
Placing someone on a pedestal is giving away power.
Pedestals say "I am as good as you are, so don't fall...."
If we cannot be imperfect, then, how intimate and vulnerable can we really be?
It is our challenges (shortcomings, flaws, sensitivities) that bring us closer together as we reveal our vulnerabilities or our humanity.
To idealize is to lack awareness of the whole. Pedestals don't broaden our focus. Pedestals narrow our focus off the ground we all walk on. We are all imperfect beings.
Idealization stunts growth.
Idealizing does not allow us to see the fullness of our humanity. It means you cannot connect to your own rawness nor accept mine.
In relationships pedestals promise disappointment and disillusionment. Pedestals come with unspoken expectations. Those expectations cannot be met by imperfect humans.
Pedestals cannot fulfill for long. The one on the pedestal is not human to the one who put her there. There is no place to grow in the confines of the pedestal.
You do not have a soul to bare or a heart that breaks when you are on pedestal.
The truth is 'we' deny our humanity by idealizing or putting others on pedestals. We miss the opportunity to take a chance at being loved even with all our imperfections.
The one on the pedestal does have a heart that breaks.
I am a vulnerable human being and woman whose heart mends from the inside out, free of any pedestal.