What motivates my choices?
Can my motivation blind me?
Which is a greater motivator fear or love?
Am I willing to conquer fear to be free?
This post is about the blindfolds of fear, lack of awareness, and what unleashes the warrior within whether blindfolded or not.
In relationships I feared being left and that made me behave in ways that created a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Fear is a motivator that kept me in the dark and at the mercy of my fears.
I was blinded not so much by love as by fear. Love does not imprison or hold-on so much that it aches. Love empowers and liberates.
Fear made me a victim of circumstances. Not having awareness of my victim mentality kept me unable to act on my behalf. I was too scared by what I might see. I was terrified to make my own decisions. The grip of my fears convinced me I was helpless. Feeling helpless was believing I was powerless. In reality I was just unaware of my own power.
Being unaware is like being blindfolded.
The reality is that it was within my reach to take the blindfold off.
At first, it was intimidating knowing that I could take-off the blindfold. I didn't want to look into the mirror nor the mess I had created. I had to be willing to look at the mess I had created while I walked around blinded or unaware. It meant owning all the moments I had not acted kindly and lived up to my own standards.
I had to acknowledge my arrogance.
My arrogance was that I believed there were things I had done that were not forgivable and yet I also believed that God forgives everything. In an enlightened moment I realized that if I could not forgive myself, that meant somehow I thought I was above God. It was a humbling awareness.
If you have followed my blog you know that I have written on forgiveness quite a bit. I believe it is the first step in healing, loving and freeing ourselves from the prison of our mind and our past.
The door to happiness and freedom is within reach when we are brave enough to face our shadow and our past. Sometimes, the easier choice is to avoid that which scares us even if facing it would help us grow. To choose growth is to choose love and liberation.
To choose the less distressing discomfort is to choose the false safety of the familiar and to be at the mercy of our fears.
As long as I avoid what I am fearful of, I am controlled by it. Sometimes just beyond fear is what I really want. I must feel good enough about myself to go for what I want. And I must be brave enough to face my fear. Bravery is not feeling fearless but being willing to act on instincts of love.
There is no defeat unless I do not face my fears.
Fear doesn't always look scared. One face of fear is arrogance. Arrogance may look confident but actually lacks humility that prevents us from learning lessons. Arrogance keeps us from being vulnerable and allowing true confidence to arise.
We must be humble to learn.
I do not have to admit being scared to anyone, I just have to acknowledge it for myself. Vulnerability allows my warrior spirit to awaken and come forth full force on my behalf.
With humility and a little faith, I have learned that I am equipped to handle whatever life presents me.
Whatever motivates us our choices, it is up to each of us to honor what is alive in us. May we choose love to live a greater Life of harmony with all. May we evolve into the fullness of our humanity.
Can you recognize times when the blindfold of arrogance kept you from learning something that later freed you to be more kind, compassionate and more of your true self?